There is no universal price tag for a shared life. Two couples with the same income can want completely different things, and a higher income does not automatically create more security.
What matters is the relationship between your resources, responsibilities, and the life you are choosing.
Start with your baseline
Calculate a normal month: housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance, debt payments, health costs, and basic personal spending. Add annual and irregular expenses as monthly amounts.
Add stability
Stability includes a cash cushion, appropriate insurance, manageable debt payments, and a plan for income disruption. The right amount depends on your work, health, dependents, and support network.
Add the life you want
Include the things that make the future meaningful: travel, hobbies, celebrations, education, family support, a pet, a home, or time away from work. A plan that funds only survival is incomplete.
Define ‘enough’ together
Ask what would make each of you feel secure, which experiences are worth prioritizing, what you want to avoid becoming dependent on, and which goals can wait.
Build three versions
Create a minimum plan, a comfortable plan, and a stretch plan. Then ask whether the minimum is survivable, the comfortable plan is repeatable, and the stretch plan is worth the trade-offs.